love, zoesarah: Dealing with long distance

Never in a million years did I see myself 2 years into a long distance relationship, with our ups and downs this has been the biggest but also a normal struggle for me. Looking back on it I had no clue what I was getting myself into but now it seems like such a natural thing. I used to cry every Sunday when Nathan went back to camp but now I'm like a little sad but I know it's 5 days I mean people wait all year for Christmas so it's all good haha. Anyway I came up with a few ways to deal with long distance relationships. ENJOY!

Communication

This is a massive issue with long distance, if you aren't communicating frequently or as much as possible and showing you care for each other things turn sour very quickly. If I miss Nathan I tell him, if I am feeling emotional, angry or proud of him I tell him. You find it a lot with army relationships you find you'll get random moments where you think 'I'm proud of them' well I get those feeling anyway. You have to be able to stay calm when communicating especially if there is a change of plans, sometimes Nath will call me and say he can't come home of course I'm gutted but not as much as he will be because he misses his family.

Establish ways to communicate

If your going to communicate obviously you need ways to do this whether it is Facetime (mine and Nathan's way), Skype or a simple phone call for a few minutes. There are plenty of ways to communicate so there is always a way to do it if one doesn't work due to bad connection or no wifi.

Decide if you can wait for them

Mine and Nathan's hardest choice is whether we should move down South or live up North especially because his job is down South and mine is in Manchester. So if we can wait for each other we are going to be a strong couple. Those lonely nights have to be done in order to have maybe a day or two with them and then you are back into the same old cycle. Waiting is the hardest time you can't always have their attention or affection and you have to wait to get it. But overall can I wait 15 years for Nathan to get a slower job or get a promotion in 6 months time meaning more money and a better life for our family. One day I won't have to say goodbye to Nathan and I always think that when we say goodbye.

Be secure in the relationship

The hardest thing to do with relationships like this is trust your partner. From the start of a relationship you have to build trust with them so when bad things come along you know whether you believe them or someone else. Army relationships are notorious for interference, I have a girl tell me Nathan cheated on me in a shower (classy) while he was in Canada and I was gutted. But when I thought about it Nathan had bought an engagement ring before he left and we planned on a family and getting a mortgage, so I called bullshit on this girls story. Turns out it was and I was right to believe Nathan because a month later I was his fiance. Not to mention are you secure enough while they are away to a keep routine for yourself? can you keep going and stay focused and not become miserable over them leaving. If you want to be with this person you need to be.

Make long term plans

Me and Nathan do this all the time! We make plans for the future like trips away or on the 13th of every month or whichever weekend is the closest we go out for a meal or something. Valentine's day we went to the zoo and a meal, but also holidays and planning where you can go. We decided on New York then Australia then a skiing holiday in Bulgaria, it's just something to look forward too and while there away your counting down the days to something exciting. We finally decided on a wedding date which is something we are super excited for things like that are truly worth the wait.

I surround myself with positive quotes to keep me going.

When you're together ditch the tech

Really you waited two weeks to see your partner and they are sat next to you while you scroll Facebook? That's not fair. Ditching the phones and putting them to the side while you watch a film together go for a cute meal or something is so much nicer because your devoting your time to them not a Facebook share about micro pigs haha.

Check in on each other

Nathan normally checks in on me because I never want to ring him when he is working I don't wanna get in trouble. Every few hours is fine, just that simple 'you ok?' text can make your partners day. It really is as simple as that, just for them to know your thinking about each other makes them feel appreciated and wanted.

You need a good support system

You need strong family and friends around you on both sides so you are not sat in a room being a hermit. Course sometimes you wanna be on your own but not wallowing in your sadness, you tend to appreciate the people keeping you happy as well because they genuinely want your feelings on a high. Those times where you feel so shitty and your partner is busy and you don't wanna bother them that best friend like I have Emily or my mum really make my day a little easier.

Focus on the positives

YES I did a blogpost about the pros and cons of these relationships, however the pros will 100% always beat the cons because I adore Nathan he's amazing well for me anyway. I always think I will be with him again soon and 2 months deployment is nothing compared to 2 years being together. This will never last long, I always believe it's not forever him being away hopefully. One day Nathan will always be home and I will think 'agh go drive a tank or something you are messing up my lounge or baking haha' but I would love him being home.

Accept what you have

I have a guy that is so loving and faithful to me and he is an angel after all I have been through. I sometimes think he is honestly worth all the crap I went through just to have such amazing memories with him. He has made me a strong person with him being away because even though he's in my head and heart I stop myself from breaking down because it makes me super strong to know I have done this for 2 years.

Take things lightly!

Lads will be lads. I sometimes phone Nathan and he is with his work mates and they are so loud and boisterous asking some crude questions so you have to brush it off and not get offended. Sometimes those lads see girls for one thing so they will be rude. So I have been called a 'slag' a 'scrounger' because Nathan drives me around but I pay for petrol and other things so I was like ' hahahah FU' I have been told if me and Nathan ever had kids they would be mistakes and honestly after that me and Nathan never spoke to that lad again because he was plain rude. But most times the lads say things as joke his mates call me a dwarf because I am 5'7 and Nathan is 6'2 but I just laugh at it.