Army relationship rant...

So lately a few things have been bothering me, I have come down with a cold so I am an irritable blogger haha. So from my blog it is pretty clear I love my fiance and Nathan is a great guy but a few things about our relationship annoy me. The bright side about it is that it is not Nathan that upsets me but rather outside involvements.

So I have been with Nathan a year and a half (18 months) and we have had a really good relationship so far, we are pretty strong and a good example of an army relationship. The most irritating thing is the time apart but at the same time it gives us space to miss each other and get excited to see each other. Honestly though that is NOTHING compared to a bigger issue at the minute...

So me and Nathan have been engaged for nearly a month and a half and it is an amazing feeling. I get to look at a ring everyday and think 'I have a fiance' but this is the cause of the problem. So you know most of the time the way it goes, a couple that have been together normally a while and they get engaged well for some massive reason in mine and Nathan's life that is A HUGE PROBLEM!

Everyone is telling me 'Zoe don't listen to them don't get worked up' but it just annoys me so much! Me and Nathan have been through a lot in 18 months, I won't go into full detail because some things I want to keep private but most of all we deal with long distance normally a 200 mile (4 hours away) distance during the week. A long with finding a house, thinking about a family and a wedding. We decided already that we won't be getting married for 4/5 years, but we really want our own place to just be ourselves and not have people watching us all the time.

I love interior design so the thought of a home to decorate makes me so happy! But it's hard when I would live their full time and Nathan would be at camp unless i moved down to camp with him and we got a home there. So basically I would be on my own 5 days out of the week apart or sometimes longer.

Apart from these minor flaws, which really are enough to deal with because I would just love a home with Nathan and little babies and just a happy ever after. However, these seem nothing recently a lot of people are being rather interfering in regards to mine and Nathan's engagement. In regards to claiming we haven't been together long enough or we haven't experienced life enough. WELL let's just state me and Nathan are going into our 20's so we have experienced life and secondly i deal with the hardest kind of relationship LONG DISTANCE and one where my fiance could get SERIOUSLY INJURED at any moment. Where as the people stating their childish meaningless comments are with their partners 24/7 share a bed together, live together and could not go a day without each other. You know the classic Facebook moaner 'I miss bae' when they only left each other 5 minutes ago...

Me and Nathan wouldn't have spoke about getting engaged and having a family if we weren't committed 100% so why is it anyone else's problem? is it affecting them? no, is it messing with their life? no. So why are certain people so concerned, it comes across a lot of jealousy because me and Nathan know we are a strong couple and no one else can get engaged or married because we cant have a grown up lifestyle. Getting engaged does not mean we will have kids, get married, move far far away and never speak to anyone ever again. It means we are committed to each other and wanna support each and say we want one person for the rest of our lives to love.

I would think getting engaged is less commitment than a baby, I mean a baby means our lives change forever and we are parents and take on a human life to care for and teach. Whereas an engagement is a ring on a finger and promise to get married that's it. I would LOVE for one day for every couple to try mine and Nathan's relationship, because they would not cope with 4 months of it. I think it's so condescending and belittling to say to a couple 'you haven't been through enough' when I deal with more than they could ever imagine, I wouldn't wish a deployment on anyone but it's obvious not my side but Nathan's side of friends that they think our relationship isn't mature enough.

I put it down to jealousy, and pure pettiness of 'well they cant get engaged because I am and I'm the only person who can ever be engaged' simply grow up. I've got to the point I don't care anymore and I'll openly say I'm engaged and there's nothing they do to change it. Life goes on, this has bothered me for such a long time that I need somewhere to write it all down before i lost my marbles...

SO from now on I look it as 'if there is a problem with mine and Nathan's relationship/engagement then you go take his place at work while I spend time with him, because they are clearly taking there simply cushy relationships for granted while I have to toughest kind!

Well, rant over thanks my lovelies,

All my love, 

A very peeved 

My Pandora story...

This bracelet means the world to me, I have had it for just over a year now as it was a Christmas present of my parents along with my first 2 charms of Nathan to start it off. Each charm means something to me and I want to share this with all of you because it is a huge part of my life. 

So let's start with a basic overview of my bracelet.

My bracelet is the Pandora Charm Bracelet in Sterling Silver £55, I asked my parents for a bracelet but they chose me a simple one that they knew I would like. I'm going to start explaining my charms from left to right rather in order of buying/receiving them as it's a lot easier. I can say I am very lucky and all I asked for during the earlier stages of 2015 coming up to mine and Nathan's anniversary was charms and I bought one myself, so I am grateful.

So the first charm on the left is my Me & You charm I received this from Nathan on the day he returned from Canada along with Ralph Lauren Romance perfume which smells heavenly! I was so shocked with this charm as I didn't expect anything back from Canada but he complete surprised me and meant so much as this is not sold in Pandora in the UK and is one of a kind.

Next to this is the flower space £15 which I received of Nathan for my 20th birthday, I loved this spacer as I like flowers and nature and love taking long walks with Nathan and his dog through forests and things like that.

My third charm in is the one I bought myself. I purchased this from the Pandora near Lake Windermere in the Lake District, this was £30 and I bought this because I have always loved photography and textiles and taking photos of my work and keeping special memories.

Next to my camera is a charm I lusted for forever! I received this of Nathan for Valentine's day so it's almost a year old awww! I asked for this and hinted at this for the longest time but I think he took the hint. This charm is the My Princess tiara charm £30 and has the engraving of My Princess along the link. This is so sentimental to me as Nathan always calls me his princess.

Next up is one of the two charms I received when I got my bracelet. The heart spacer £15 was a charm Nathan picked for me along with the Gingerbread Man £30 for my first Christmas presents of him. I said to him I wanted a charm to represent love and Christmas but instead he picked me two charms rather than one because he does spoil me hahaha! I love these because they are my first ever charms and he really thought about me when purchasing them.

Next is the Openwork Heart Charm £20 which is one of 2 charms my mum has bought for my bracelet. She wanted to buy me a charm to represent love, this was bought for me at the same shop as my camera one in the Lake District as was a truly beautiful gift. 

Not surprisingly the next charm is army themed, if I could have got a tank charm I probably would have but the Toy Soldier Pendent Charm £35 was a perfect representation of my love for Nathan. I always the toy soldier emoji on my phone when posting about Nathan or whatever so this was perfect and the loveliest gift to receive from him for our 1 year anniversary.

Finally, this charm is the Heart Clip £35 I received this off my mum for getting a Distinction in my uni Textiles course so it was kind of a little well done treat. Again my mum chose a heart because she wanted to say she loves me and remind me of that when I wear it. I chose a clip purely to stop the bracelet from stretching and I want to keep it looking beautiful as it would really annoy me when my charms would swing round all over the bracelet.

I truly love my bracelet and intend to add more to it, I don't want a completely full bracelet just the centre part so I can only fit two more charms maybe onto the space.

  I decided to add in the last two charms I would like to add to my charm, the first up is the Tea Cup Charm £25 that I want to add next to my You & Me charm to represent my gran as she always loved cups of tea and tea parties and I really wanted something to remember her. The second charm is the Globe Clip £30 that I want to get for when me and Nathan travel or in fact just to represent that wherever he is we are always together and can work through the hard times.

Well that's all for now my lovelies! Hope you enjoyed the read I enjoyed writing it as it is like a personal story for me,

All my love, 

Life bucket list...

So to get my year organised I decided to create a bucket list of things I want to do not just this year but also in the near future as I know I can't do them all this year. So let's get showing you my dreams...

Travel to New York, and visit The Alice in Wonderland Statue.

Buy a Husky, Bulldog, Rottweiler or German Shepard. 

Marry Nathan.

Have at least 2/3 kids.

Understand Star Wars. Seriously Nathan goes on about it so I need to to understand hahaha!

Get a house with Nathan.

Work Hard enough to become a full time wedding organiser!

Buy a beautiful car ds3!!

Travel to America & go to Florida to see Disneyland!

Do all my travelling with Nathan!

Loose 2/3 stone!

Pet a Lion..

So for now that's all for my bucket list I hope to at least complete 2/3 this year and will try to think of more to add to this list! 

Thank you my lovelies!

All my love, 

The pros and cons of Army Relationships...

As I mentioned in my other army relationship posts there are always pros and cons of an army relationship any shape or form. A lot of my pros and cons are emotionally based because it plays a huge part in any relationship. I try hard sometimes not to let my emotions get to me especially over the hard times mainly because I 100% think that the pros out way the cons because there is always gonna be a day when Nathan comes home hopefully anyway and I won't be waiting for his return. Anyway, I choose to do the cons first because this is a case of leaving the best till last.

Cons

• You have to be strong and independent especially during deployments. Having things to keep me occupied helped a lot but at the same time there isn't a time I hate wishing I could ask Nathan for a cuddle but I can't because he's 10,000 miles away. Ew
• You'll never know the next time you'll see them. I think a lot of the time 'Aw Nathan will be home next weekend or in 5 days' 5 days turns into 2 weeks or sometimes 3. But the time apart does make you miss them a little more like time together is so worth it.
• Worrying if their safe is scary because you never want to get a call saying their hurt or worse, I try to put it to the back of my mind but it is always there.
• Girls will always try to bag themselves a soldier. Like I said I didn't know Nathan was a soldier for weeks when we met and it never changed a thing. But I have been told before by Nathan's work mates even when you say no to a girl and say you have a misses or a partner they are still keen and will do anything to get what they want.
• Similar to the first one but you can't have a kiss or a cuddle any old time! You know them couples that say 'I miss my boyfriend/girlfriend' when they literally just left their girlfriend/boyfriends house? Well to army couple those couples have no idea! They would not cope with the seperation because it's rubbish...
• Last minute change of plans suck! Could of planned the perfect weekend a movie, a meal and then a sleepover.. Oh what's that Smith has broke his leg from falling out of a window at camp and your fella has been given his guard duty GREAAAAAT! Thanks Smith...
• Sometimes his army mates can be idiots! Like seriously talk about rude... I have had some horrible things said for me in the past and it's made me dislike someone instantly but you have to like them for the sake of your partner. It's a price you have to pay...
• Soldiers are tired a lot! Like never mind a pregnant lady soldiers can be some of the moodiest, lazy and tired people going. I get it hard job and such right? But one second you on Facetime you look again and their flat out snoring like a baby. Typical well it is for Nathan anyway hahaha..

Pro's

• It makes you super proud, everything they do. It's really as simple as that I know all he does is for me and our future and I know as hard as it is for me it's just as hard from him to be apart.
• On the odd occasion you get to see cool stuff like tanks,bulldogs and try on army stuff. I think the first time Nathan took me home to meet his family we ended up both with army painted faces and talking silly selfies hahaha
• You end up really close because your both in it 100%. Well the serious army couples anyway..
• You get to hear funny stories about 'Army Banter' such as Nathan's food fight the other day with frozen oranges.
• You do fun things most of the time because your not together 24/7. It makes you just wanna go out and have little adventures when you finally spend the time together.
• Spending anniversaries,birthdays etc together is super special! I was lucky to spend our one year anniversary together but we have missed each others birthdays so far boo hoo!
• When they wear their special uniform (number 2's) for special events there is certain sense of pride like 'this is the guy/girl that I get to call mine' and it's an amazing feeling. 
• There are two types of army guys, the loyal ones and the players so when your lucky enough to meet a loyal one that won't go and mess around the second their back at camp then that's love. It couldn't get much better than that...
• It makes you realise how special life is, one day I won't always be saying goodbye to Nathan and he will be away a lot less. I won't worry as much and probably one of my favourite things is that I will get to have a family with someone I have never loved like this before. Soppy and sad but the truth, like it's one of the biggest reasons i wake up everyday without Nathan and do my normal daily routine because it's one day closer to seeing him.

So those are my pros and cons of an Army relationship from my point of view, I do believe the pros out weigh the cons maybe it's because of the connection I have with Nathan. But honestly I hope no one thinks I'm condescending or anything I just like to write my opinions and feelings. Hope you enjoyed my lovelies!

All my love, 

Patriotic home interiors...

I am a huge fan of interior design and I always tend to think about what mine and Nathan's future home will look like. I always imagined a home with small hints of how strong a family we are and how patriotic we are to his job and how we support each other. So I compiled a collection of images from Pinterest to portray my ideas and dreams for my future home.

Starting of with quote boards, I think these look so lovely especially chalk boards and plaques. These can express a person/families thoughts and feelings in a few simple words and portray how strong they are no matter how far the distance. I also found a cute quote pillow which I desperately want for my room, it would look so cute on mine and Nathan's bed or the sofa.

I chose a mix of ideas/inspiration, even though some are US army themed I think they would still work for even a British army home. People may think I'm obsessed with Nathan's job or the army but I just love interior design and not many people can incorporate the army into their homes in subtle ways.

I chose to put these quote boards together as they are all quite similar and portray the same message, I would definitely have one of these in my hallway.

Army men and keys..

I loved these ideas, I think the idea of keeping keys from homes I've lived in and framing them to show a journey looks so cute and personal. A long with this idea I love the idea of army men in a frame either spelling out a letter, which I would do for my sons spelling out their initials or a larger frame like the large image without the spray painted and just green army men.  I think these could decorate a child room perfectly.

Deployment Decor...

So these ideas I love for during deployment months, I like the framed maps showing where Nathan has been or where he is currently. The images down the side are a compilation of things to have hung around probably in the kitchen area such as a 'Deployment Wall' showing where Nathan is, what time it is where he is and how long is left till he comes home.

Deployment wall map..

Finally, my favourite idea! I love this for a centre piece in my home like the living room. I think it would look awesome like the first image, hanging the tags on saying where he went and what date. 

 I created on of these online and it look so cool!

I can't wait to add to this and see all the other places he goes! Plus I can ask him for cool scenic pictures of all the views he gets to see so I can kind of experience it with him haha!

Anyway that's all for now my lovelies! Hope this post portrayed my thoughts and ideas for my future home..

All my love, 

What I got for Christmas 2015...

So I was super spoilt this Christmas, but I'm not one of them spoilt girls who gets everything they want and most of the time anything I do want when it's not Christmas I buy myself with money I earn because my parents payed for enough for me as a little girl. So in no way am I bragging because I know a lot of bloggers and Youtubers say this but I LOVE these kinds of posts maybe because I'm nosey in regards to stuff like ''what I got for Christmas' or 'what's in my bag' I'm a huge follower of this kind of stuff, so here goes...

So this is just an overview image of all the lovely gifts I got, I know it looks an awful lot but this was from friends, family, Nathan, Nathan's family and his grandparents and each of them received gifts back of me.

So obviously my mum asked me if there was anything in particular I really wanted for Christmas and I just said like bath stuff really because she knows I love soap and glory Sugar Crush so she picked up a Zest A Girl Can Get set for me which included a body wash, scrub body spray and a little ducky. Which my mum said reminded her of me as soon as she saw it and I love him!

Along with that set she picked me up a Once Upon A Lime gift set with small travel size of the sugar crush products inside which I will use for travelling and sleepovers at Nathan's but one of the most extravagant sets I received was the Well I'll Be Glammed makeup gift set that consisted of Thick and fast Mascara, Archery, Smoulder Kohl, Supercat, Sexy Motherpucker Lipgloss in Candy Queen and another in Plums Up, a Love At First Blush, Solar Powder, 6 shades of Lid Stuff and 3 makeup brushes for bronzer, blusher and eyeshadow.

My lovely best friend Emily also picked me up a Once upon a lime set also as she knows I love Sugar Crush along with a Zoella Soap Pop which I had just mentioned in conversation and the ultimate sweetheart that she is picked me one up! Can we just establish her awesome wrapping skills!

Now my lovely little neighbour Jay who I look after in Fridays surprised me with a lovely Soap and Glory cracker filled with lip glosses so I think I got like every Soap and Glory lipgloss for Christmas with all the sets I received haha!

Finally my last soap and glory gift set was the Whole She-bang £30 that I get every year well for the past 3 years anyway, as me and my mum agree it is well worth the money for all the products you get!

Such a stunning set and this along with the rest will last me all year!

Onto clothes, so at christmas my parents rarely buy me clothes the first reason being the sales and secondly at the minute I'm trying to loose weight so I don't wanna buy something beautiful and it be too big for me. Fair play something being small I can work to fit into it which I am doing but I don't want anything to go to waste. Anyway, I did receive a beautiful scarf of Nathan's grandparents which I am in love with and have wore it everywhere like shopping etc, secondly were a pair of mittens that I seen in George at ASDA that were around £8 and I fell in love with because they match a wrap around I have but my mum picked them up on her own to surprise me. Last but not least, is an amazing hoody from help for heroes which I have wanted for SOOOOO LONG like all Nathan's family wear them and I wanted one so me and Nathan got matching ones well his is black but same style! I love this I wear it all the time with leggings and stuff its so comfy and huge on me!

Onto cosmetics, so my mum knows I am a huge mac fan so from her and my dad (obviously my mum picked haha) were some products that I had been lusting over! First off was the mac mineralize skinfinish in soft and gentle then spice lipliner and Brave lipstick along with two pigments in rose and Naked. The picture of the pigments is probably my favourite so stunning! Along with some products I bought myself from soap and glory as it was 3 for 2 in Boots and if I spent over £15 I got a free gift so I picked up the Kickass Camouflage concealer in Light, the One Heck of a blot all day liquid to powder foundation in Fair Enough and I'm loving it so far and last the Glow All Out Highlighting Powder which is stunning!

Here's a look altogether!

Along with the gift set I received for spending over £15 that had a blush,mascara and lipgloss inside.

Bits & bobs

So onto the random parts of What I received, of Nathan's sister the lovely Jane I received a pop figure of 'Peasant Belle' from Beauty and the Beast and she's in her lovely blue dress, it's funny actually because I bought Jane a pop figure too of Toothless from How To Train Your Dragon along with the little Build-A-Bear bear for the Minions which I was happy I could get for her as Nathan told me she really wanted it. Along with a beautiful necklace and storage box of Nathan's parents which was lovely!

Ofcourse I put her next to my belle cup! I absolutely love her, definitely collecting the rest!

Along the lines of Disney I also received a minnie mouse stocking which my mum filled with chocolate and my favourite cadbury foamy snowmen and some daisy duck tsum tsum socks which I actually have on as I write this hahaha! Not to mention the funniest little snowman from Frozen Fever that talks when you talk to it, me and my mum have a good laugh saying 'zoe smells' and it repeating us hahahaha!

So along with bits and bobs my parents bought me some stationary, my mum knows I love stationary and gold with polka dot along with pastels so when she saw this gold organiser set she picked it up for me in BHS along with the VelvetGhost stationary bits from Primark, I love them though they look so sleek on my new desk for my iMac and really professional along with my little Frozen Fever snowman that guards my mac lip pencils...

 These all now sit nicely on my new desk from Ikea that was £30 I think

Almost at the end now, but one of my final was a bag I had been lusting over FOREVER the Victoria's Secret duffel bag in black and grey which I now take everywhere I go! It is so beautiful with the PINK logo along the strap and fine detail all over! 

Last but not least was my big surprise of my parents! A set of the GHD Arctic Gold Curve soft curl tong in a gift set and some Cloud Nine Straighteners which I literally screamed at when I opened them!

So finally onto what the lovely Fiance got me for christmas, now Nathan felt awful because he had left my big gift the Zoella box at camp (why he took it to camp I don't know haha). But it is filled with lovely smelling bath and body products...

So he thought he needed to buy me more but he honestly didn't I think he just loves to spoil me hahaha! Anyway, from Nathan I received a beautiful striped box filled with  Lush bath treats and Victoria's Secret goodies! 

THE BOX SMELT SO GOOD IT WAS UNREAL! Even though I had a cold hahaha

So as I mentioned he bought me some Victoria's Secret goodies which consisted of a night shirt in grey which is so soft and cosey! I have actually wore it out with leggings and my Timberlands before hahaha...

Secondly was a kind of naughty little night top for when I stay over as I like this style and this little sequin bow on the back is beautiful!

It's a little cheeky this top but it's so comfy and like gives you room to breath so I love it!

Nathan is a true gem like and I couldn't be more grateful as he had already put a ridiculous expensive ring on my finger!

Well that's everything I received for Christmas 2015 hope you enjoyed my lovelies! I am so super grateful of everything and hopefully all my friends,family and Nathan enjoyed there gifts. I'm sure Nathan did because I spoilt him rotten!

All my love,